Where to Hold Your Hands During a Wedding Ceremony

If you’re planning your wedding and suddenly wondering, “what do we actually do with our hands during the ceremony?” - you’re not alone.

As a wedding celebrant, this is one of the most common (and most underrated) questions I get asked. And the truth is, those little moments, where you stand, how you hold each other, what you do with your hands, can make a huge difference in how your ceremony feels (and how it photographs).

So here’s your simple, no-stress guide to what to do with your hands during your wedding ceremony

The Golden Rule: Keep It Natural

Before we get into the options, this matters most:

There is no “right” way to hold your hands.

Your ceremony isn’t staged. It’s a real, emotional moment. The goal is to feel comfortable, connected, and present, not perfectly posed.

Option 1: Hold Hands (The Most Popular Choice)

This is what most couples naturally gravitate toward — and for good reason.

Holding hands during your ceremony:

• Helps calm nerves

• Keeps you connected

• Looks relaxed and romantic in photos

When it works best:

• While I’m telling your story

• During readings

• In those quiet, emotional moments

As a celebrant, I’ll often gently guide you into this if I can see nerves creeping in.

Option 2: One Hand Free (Perfect for Practical Moments)

If one of you has a bouquet or you’re about to read vows, this option is ideal.

• One hand stays connected

• The other is free for movement

For brides:Hold your bouquet in your left hand, so your right hand is free for:

• Holding hands

• Your vows

• The ring exchange

If you're holding your bouquet, I’ll always prompt you when it’s time to is off so you’re not juggling in the moment.

Option 3: The Bouquet Position (Yes, It Matters)

If you’re holding flowers, small tweaks make a big difference:

• Hold your bouquet low (around your waist)

• Relax your shoulders

• Angle the bouquet slightly outward

This keeps your posture open and ensures your photos look natural (not like the bouquet is “eating” your dress).

Not holding flowers? Keep your hands clasped low, shoulders down and don't forget to breath!

Option 4: Hands Relaxed by Your Side

Not every moment needs hand-holding and that’s completely okay.

Standing with your hands relaxed:

• Can feel more natural for some couples

• Works well during formal parts of the ceremony

• Gives you space to reset and breathe

My tip: Slightly angle your body toward your partner, it keeps the connection without needing constant contact.

Option 5: Let It Flow (The Best Approach!)

The most beautiful ceremonies aren’t rigid — they move naturally.

You might:

• Hold hands during your story

• Let go during a reading

• Reconnect for vows and the ring exchange

As your celebrant, I’ll subtly guide these transitions so nothing feels awkward or forced.

Common Mistakes I See (And Help You Avoid)

After officiating many weddings across Adelaide, regional South Australia and Melbourne, here are the little things that can make couples feel awkward:

• Clasping hands tightly in front (reads as nervous)

• Letting arms hang stiffly

• Fidgeting (rings, fingers, outfits)

• Overthinking every movement

The good news? I’ll be right there guiding you through it — you’re never left wondering what to do next.

A Celebrant’s Advice

Here’s what I always tell my couples:

• If you’re unsure, just reach for each other.

• It’s instinctive, grounding, and always the right move.

And remember, your guests aren’t watching your hands, they’re watching your connection.

Final Thought

Your ceremony isn’t about perfect positioning. It’s about being present with your person.

So whether you’re holding hands, letting go, or somewhere in between, if it feels natural to you, it will look beautiful.

Planning Your Wedding Ceremony in Adelaide?

If you’re looking for a wedding celebrant in Adelaide and regional South Australia who will guide you through every moment (including the ones you didn’t even think about, like what to do with your hands), I’d love to chat.

Get in touch to start planning a ceremony that feels relaxed, personal, and completely you.

Learn More